Like many of you, I have spent much of the last month watching Olympians contort their bodies into some pretty stunning shapes. Seeing such incredible physical limberness on display has also got me thinking about one concept in particular: “psychological flexibility.” Whereas an Olympic gymnast’s flexibility is measured by looking at how their body bends during a floor or vault event, psychological flexibility is “scored” in terms of how far we are able to “stretch” our thoughts and actions during everyday life events.
Let’s say that during any social event you attend, your mind automatically convinces you that others are going to negatively judge you, no matter what you say or do. Unfortunately, because your mind is unwilling to “bend” towards multiple possibilities (e.g., that others may also judge you positively), it would not receive very high flexibility scores. And instead of winning you a gold medal, this rigid mindset only offers you added worry, anxiety, and apprehension.
The good news is, just like our physical flexibility can be enhanced by routinely stretching our limbs, there are a couple different “exercise” approaches we can use to improve our psychological flexibility as well. While the cognitive approach involves switching up our thinking strategies or shifting our belief systems, the behavioral approach involves switching up our actions or shifting the way we conduct ourselves in a given situation.
For example, let’s say our manager at work provides us with constructive (albeit negative) feedback. Rather than rigidly assume that this feedback means they hate us and are going to fire us, the psychologically flexible method of response would be to fully flesh out the facts and adjust our beliefs to better reflect them. Here, the facts indicate that while yes, we have indeed made an upsetting error at work, we are not being let go. Instead, our manager has actually given us the opportunity to correct our mistakes and learn from this incident.
Having “stretched” our thoughts in this way, we can then decide what actions are best for us to take. While rigidly assuming that our job is doomed might rigidly cause us to react defensively (e.g., telling our manager “you can’t fire me, I quit”), adopting a more flexible mindset will lead us to develop a more flexible action plan. Perhaps instead of impulsively quitting or arguing back to our manager, we decide to hear their suggestions, apologize for our oversights, and heed their advice in order to prevent this error from happening again in the future.
Behavioral flexibility in this case may also involve “manually” bringing down the physical activation and tension that come with the anxiety we often feel in moments of conflict like this. For example, we could momentarily distract ourselves from this distressing situation by engaging our five senses (e.g., intensely focusing on the sounds, smells, or visual details of our surroundings). Or, we do some square breathing exercises to bring our heart rate down. We could also methodically relax the tense muscles in our body one by one. Regardless of which option we select, all of these actions listed will help reduce the physical symptoms of anxiety and ultimately allow us to manage the situation more adaptively.
Engaging flexibly with our own beliefs, bodies, and behaviors will help us more effectively tackle the challenges that we inevitably encounter in life. When we are better able to change things up and strategically adapt to the demands of the situation, we drastically increase the odds that our own “gold medal” goals will be achieved.
If you or someone you know would like to become more psychologically flexible and adaptive, our team of CTW clinicians are here to help you get started. Reach out and speak with us today!
