When something we value needs repairing, our hope is often that it will be returned to us “as good as new.” Stitched and buffed to its original shine, with no trace evidence of its injured history. However, there is one centuries-old method of mending where the opposite is true: kintsugi, or the Japanese art of “golden repair.” In kintsugi, an item’s cracks and breaks are filled with gold lacquer, lending it renewed beauty by highlighting its damaged past.
Like a vase that has been pushed to the ground- be it by an earthquake or an errant elbow- humans too are often left fractured by sudden shifts in our surroundings. For many, never has this been more apparent than in the waning days of the pandemic. As we begin to emerge from the wreckage wrought by COVID, some might be understandably startled by the new scars accompanying them. Those who seemed to sail through quarantine might be struggling with post-vaccine re-entry. While certainly confusing and upsetting, this response is also a common one to have in the wake of such a crisis. After all, it can be hard to survey a storm’s damage while it’s still surging around us.
Not only is it crucial to normalize the shock that comes with transitioning from survival to recovery mode, it’s also important to distinguish these modes from each other. For one thing, the behaviors that helped keep us safe from threat may actually start working against us once that threat has been neutralized (see: social distancing. Isolating from others was hands-down the best way to avoid COVID, but doing so now puts one at significantly higher risk for psychological illness). And for another, it’s simply unrealistic to expect that we won’t be left affected in any way by experiences like this pandemic. So we have a choice: fight the reality of our painful pasts by ignoring or plastering over our battle wounds, or embrace transformation and encase them in gold?
Researchers have coined a term for this kind of psychological kintsugi: “Post Traumatic Growth (PTG).” Not to be confused with resiliency, PTG goes a step beyond “good as new.” It suggests that painful experiences can inspire adaptive changes to the way we view ourselves, others, and the world itself. That not only are we able to “bounce back” from stressful or traumatic events, we can also incorporate them into our lives in constructive, meaningful, and lasting ways.
What PTG does not suggest, however, is that these events are welcome or excusable. Just because we have the capacity to grow from trauma does not mean that we won’t also suffer in response to it as well. And although we rarely invite in suffering, we do have capacity to grow.
Being in therapy doesn’t mean you won’t ever feel pain or trauma again, but it does mean you won’t be left alone. With the support of a CTW therapist, you’ll have the space to safely face the painful present, reconcile with the hurtful past, and build your own gold-woven future.